The Osita Cycle: Part One

May 7, 1998 (Jefe)

"A Day of Surprises"

Erika, the famed UBC Sales Co-ordinator, was slaving over lunch one day - staring longingly at her "Pedro Fernandez" calendar, playing with all her useless bolivianos, and listening to her favourite album "Gipsy Kings - Live in La Paz".

"Oh Bolivia - when we will I see your sweet shores again!" she sighed.

This was of course a joke (for Bolivia has no coastline, much to the consternation of the locals) so Erika burst into boisterous laughter.

Little did she know that not only would she be returning to Bolivia - but that she would be there that same day. Five more minutes of Bolivia-obsessed thoughts elapsed before Dina burst into her office. Dina said a few Spanish phrases using both the subjunctive and an impressive grasp of Guatemalan slang. Erika did not understand a word. Eventually, Dina switched to English and revealed the tragic news.

"Dinorah has been kidnapped!"

"Oh My God! By whom! And where!"

"The details are very hazy, I'm afraid. It was 7:30 last night, so she was on Latino Chat. She was talking to me - though she didn't know it, of course, as I was using a pseudonym."

"So you're Osita!"

"Yes - but that's not important now. Anyway, we were calmly discussing the philosophy of Epicurus, but the conversation took a turn for the worst."

"What was said - and how do you know she's been kidnapped?"

"The sentences leave no other interpretation. Here's a transcript of the last few sentences.

Osita:
'Espero que hable contigo otra vez, Profesora, pero'
La Profesora Infamosa (interrupting):
'¡Madre de Dios! Un hombre feo y delgado está aqui. ¡Ayudame!'
'Si tu quieres verla tu profesora, deme cincuenta mil dolares. Te llamaré en dos horas, Dina. ¡Hasta la victoria siempre! ¡Una venganza para Che!"

"What does that mean? How do you know what this means?"

"Simple - 'Hasta la victoria siempre' is a phrase of Che Gueverra's. Che was killed in Bolivia. These kidnappers are obviously remnants of Che's guerrilla force and are holed up somewhere in Bolivia! We must go immediately!"

"I understand the Che connection - but why Dinorah? How the hell can you be so sure - it's not much to go on! And how did he know it was you, Dina?"

"Erika - I have a secret. I am Bolivian. I served in the army that executed Che. I was a trained assassin - and I had a ironic nickname."

"Let me guess... osita?"

"And that is why I am so worried, Erika. We have a flight to catch. These people know me - and they want revenge. We must be careful."

"But it's just the two of us!"

"No, Erika - Jefe, Roger, Salvador, Andres, and Lori are in the car."

"¡Vamonos!"